Marriage in Islam

Marriage in Islam: They are Clothing for You and You are Clothing for Them

Allah Almighty says:

أُحِلَّ لَكُمْ لَيْلَةَ الصِّيَامِ الرَّفَثُ إِلَىٰ نِسَائِكُمْ ۚ هُنَّ لِبَاسٌ لَّكُمْ وَأَنتُمْ لِبَاسٌ لَّهُنَّ

It is made lawful for you to have sexual relations with your wives on the night of the fasts. They are clothing for you and you are clothing for them.

[Sûrah al-Baqarah 2:187]

Allah chose to use the word “clothing” rather than any other word to describe the special relationship between a man and his wife. Allah made the man clothing for the woman and the woman clothing for the man. The word "clothing” as used in this context is rich with meaning. It would be quite difficult to express in words every subtlety that it conveys. We shall try, however, to consider a few of the ideas that this word expresses.

The word “clothing” in its most literal sense is what immediately covers the body with no barrier in between. The word clothing connotes the idea of equality, complementarity, and support of both a psychological and physical nature. The man has his role and the woman has hers. The woman cannot be construed as merely a vehicle to fulfill the man’s desires. She is a human being, equal to the man. Each of them is as clothing to the other in every aspect of life.

Clothing implies adornment and beautification.

Some of this beauty is of a physical kind, for a person sees in the one he truly loves beauty that others do not see. Some of this beauty is also of an intangible nature. Faithfulness and enduring friendship are a part of faith, as the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said.

A woman adorns herself with her husband when she speaks about him to her friends. She can tend to embellish her account, claiming that he loves her so much, honors her so much, and gives her so much… even when the truth is far short of all that.

Clothing conveys the meaning of covering and concealment. Allah Almighty says:

يَا بَنِي آدَمَ قَدْ أَنزَلْنَا عَلَيْكُمْ لِبَاسًا يُوَارِي سَوْآتِكُمْ وَرِيشًا ۖ

O Children of Adam! We have bestowed upon you clothing to conceal your shame and as an adornment.

[Sûrah al-A'râf 7:26]

A husband and wife screen each other from falling into sin by fulfilling one another’s needs in a lawful manner. Likewise, they conceal from others their intimacy. They do not disclose to others the details of their physical relationship nor the secrets that they share between them nor the little problems that they have with each other. They do not allow the personal life that they share together become the topic of public discourse.

It was the way of Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم . He said quite clearly to those of his followers who wanted to become overly ascetic:

مَا بَالُ أَقْوَامٍ قَالُوا كَذَا وَكَذَا لَكِنِّي أُصَلِّي وَأَنَامُ وَأَصُومُ وَأُفْطِرُ وَأَتَزَوَّجُ النِّسَاءَ فَمَنْ رَغِبَ عَنْ سُنَّتِي فَلَيْسَ مِنِّي

What is the matter with people who say that? Rather, I pray and I sleep, I fast and I eat, and I marry women. So whoever abandons my Sunnah (tradition) is not one of us.

[Sahih Muslim, Book 8, Number 3236]

Clothing is a sign of wealth and self-sufficiency. In marriage, the husband and wife fulfill each other’s needs. Allah says:

وَالَّذِينَ هُمْ لِفُرُوجِهِمْ حَافِظُونَ

إِلَّا عَلَىٰ أَزْوَاجِهِمْ أَوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُهُمْ فَإِنَّهُمْ غَيْرُ مَلُومِينَ

And those who safeguard their private parts, except from their wives and those whom their right hands possess.

[Sûrah al-Mu’minûn 23:5-6]

Clothing is a pleasure and a delight. Indeed, Allah has made clothing one of the pleasures of Paradise. He says:

وَلِبَاسُهُمْ فِيهَا حَرِيرٌ

Their clothing therein shall be of silk…
[Sûrah Fâtir 35:33]

Marriage should indeed be a garment of pleasure. It should bring pleasure to the body and to the soul. It should bring about inner balance and alleviate tension and anxiety. Those who are denied this often suffer from depression, worry, and emotional instability.

A husband and wife should find in one another peace and tranquility.

Clothing covers a person’s body, particularly the private areas. In the same way, a wife protects her husband with herself and likewise protects his wealth and children. The husband in turn protects his wife with himself and safeguards her secrets and fulfills her needs.

Allah Almighty says:

فَالصَّالِحَاتُ قَانِتَاتٌ حَافِظَاتٌ لِّلْغَيْبِ بِمَا حَفِظَ اللَّهُ ۚ

Righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in their husbands’ absence what Allah would have them guard.

[Sûrah al-Nisâ 4:34]

Clothing conveys the image of something directly touching the skin. It is an intimate bodily contact without any barrier. When the husband and wife have intimate contact, it is as if their bodies take the place of clothing. Symbolically, there is the implication of close proximity and contact throughout their life together.

Clothing needs to be kept fresh and clean. It needs to be washed. Likewise the marital relationship between a husband and wife must be refreshed and reinvigorated.

Clothing is a personal distinction. Each of us wears his or her own personal clothing. One’s husband or wife has an even greater exclusivity. Allah Almighty says:

وَالَّذِينَ هُمْ لِفُرُوجِهِمْ حَافِظُونَ

إِلَّا عَلَىٰ أَزْوَاجِهِمْ أَوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُهُمْ فَإِنَّهُمْ غَيْرُ مَلُومِينَ

And those who safeguard their private parts, except from their wives and those whom their right hands possess.

[Sûrah al-Mu’minûn 23:5-6]

Clothing provides variety. Who among us would be content with only one suit of clothes? Likewise the marital life should provide variety. This is why when the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم was asked about the limits that Islam imposes upon a husband and wife in their intimate relations, he made it clear that everything between a husband and wife is permitted except for two things: anal sex and sex when the woman is menstruating. Even then, the Prophet informed the husband and wife as to what they could do when she is menstruating. He صلى الله عليه وسلم said:

اصْنَعُوا كُلَّ شَىْءٍ إِلاَّ النِّكَاحَ

Engage in everything except sexual intercourse itself.

[Sahîh Muslim, Book 3, Number 592]